Hayley

She stood out the moment I walked in the door. She was different than all the other kindergartners. For one thing she was white. But that doesn't matter.

"Whatch your daddy do?" piped up Tyson. "He is a lawyer," I said, holding the book I was reading high enough for the perennially-curious kids in the back row to get a satisfying glance. "Oh," said Hayley with aplomb, "I have a lawyer."

It was a new school, less than ten years old. It was clean. And bright. On the walls there were pictures of maracas colored by the kids for Cinco de Mayo. During February there had been a large bus peopled with white construction paper profiles with one black construction paper profile in honor of Rosa Parks. February was Black History month. But none of this mattered either.

And one day Hayley wasn't there. She came in with her Dora the Explorer backpack when we were half-way through the first book. The teacher gave her a hug. She had been in counseling, she explained.

It doesn't matter that it was in a poor part of town. It doesn't matter that the school didn't have a PTA. We were the PTA, and yet that didn't matter either.

My second to last time there was the Tuesday after a three-day weekend. The students huddled around me to share their stories from the extended weekend. Some had been to the beach. Others out to eat. Or to the movies. The group slowly dispersed to clean up their notebooks and crayons before reading. Hayley stayed.

Across the street the roosters were chronologically-challenged because they crowed when the sun rose, when the sun was directly overhead, when the sun cast long shadows across the asphalt road, and most the time in between. The hens pecked in the yards between the clothes lines and junk cars. But we didn't care because it didn't matter.

She mumbled something that I couldn't catch. "What was that, Hayley?" I asked, looking down at the freckled face, snaggle-tooth six-year old. "My Mom's birthday was this Sunday. So we got balloons and flowers and sent them to heaven," she said. "Oh," was all I could manage. "Yeah, she is dead... and so is my dad. I am in foster care," she said.

Sometimes we would finish volunteering at the school library at the same time the kindergartners were released. We would navigate the streams of children toward the doors. Invariably, a student from our classes would see us. They would smile and wave. Smile and wave as if we hadn't seen them just forty-five minutes ago. And as if we weren't going to see them next week. And in the end that mattered. It was the only thing that did.

Another J.R.R. Thought

"I had forgotten that," said Eomer. "It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange... How shall a man judge what to do in such times?"
"As he ever has judged," said Aragorn. "Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor aren't they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."
- The Two Towers, J.R.R. Tolkien

They All Sound the Same Anyway

Lexi: "... and there were gondolas."
Morgan: "Gondolas aren't in China."
10 year-old boy: "No, they're in Venus!"
Morgan: "No..."
Lexi & 10 year-old boy: "They're... they're in Vienna!"
Morgan: "No."
Lexi: "Ven..."
Lexi & 10 year-old boy: "Venice!"
Morgan: "Yes, exactly."
Lexi: "So, what was I thinking was in China?"
Morgan: "Pagodas?"
Lexi: "YES!"

One Down, Two to Go

I just finished The Fellowship of the Ring, which is the first of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I had struggled through the first half of the book years ago, only to have to return it to the library before becoming engrossed in it. If I had read a few more chapters I think I would have been much more proactive in rechecking out the book and exploring the world of J.R.R. Tolkien.

It is an interesting book to read, especially with having already watched the trilogy multiple times. I wish I hadn't. I wish I had taken the time to read the trilogy beforehand. Now as I read the books, I am stuck in the narrow box of the movie's portrayal. Every action or character is affixed to the movie's concept of the book.

And I know the ending. This is pathetic.

I cannot imagine the suspense the reader would have not knowing what in the Shire is going to happen next, as the Halflings put it. It would be delicious fun.

But instead I get to enjoy the 21st century challenge of enjoying a book that someone else has already explained to me using their own interpretation.

But so far here are my thoughts - for whatever they are worth...

I like J.R.R.'s writing style. I am not one who normally loves fantasy stories (though, the Narnia series are some of my all-time favorites; reread them if you haven't in the past five years), but Tolkien is good. In his works fantasy intersects with the world of Men. There is supernatural but nothing ridiculous. He creates a world in which the fantasy seems realistic and not far-fetched.

Though it might seem superfluous, the history of the Middle-Earth that The Fellowship of the Ring is chock full of is so interesting and necessary. It gives a perfect backdrop to the story. With the history, one can better understand the weight of the struggles, the prejudices and flaws of the characters, and the overall intensity of the books. Slog through it but appreciate it all the same.

Tolkien was brilliant. [end of point number 3]

The concept of evil verse good is a common theme in most fantasy stories, but few stories would have a clearer delineation of good and evil than LOTR has. It is an all-out-battle for the saving of Middle-Earth by a band of courageous souls. The Enemy is unabashedly evil. There is no good in him, though at times he is extremely deceptive.

And my last two cents - as much as I would have loved to read the books before the movie, I know I would have been devastated if I had. I had never realized how much the movie cuts out. I had assumed they had mainly condensed the book instead of leaving out half of it (at least) all together. Utterly disappointing. I would have been aghast. Actually, I am aghast.

Anyway, The Two Towers is sitting next to me, begging me to read a chapter... see you on the other side of Gondor.

As I Progress Through the Trilogy...

"Thus, we return once more to the destroying of the Ring," said Erestor, "and yet we come no nearer. What strength have we for the finding of the Fire in which it was made? That is the path of despair. Of folly, I would say, if the long wisdom of Elrond did not forbid me."
"Despair, or folly?" said Gandalf. "It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not. It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, though as folly it may appear to those who cling to a false hope. Well, let folly be our cloak, a veil before the eyes of the Enemy! For he is very wise, and weighs all things to a nicety in the scales of his malice. But the only measure that he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts. Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it, that having the Ring we may seek to destroy it. If we seek this, we shall put him out of reckoning."

- The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

In Mid-May

It is beginning to feel like summer. The heat and humidity are making their annual appearance.

The humdrum of the dragonflies. The buzz of the wasps.
The rise of the heat waves from the road.

That drowsiness of the afternoon is beginning to set in. The warmth closes in.

Smothering. Sleepily.

And all before June.

Why, yes, I do dabble in photo-editing in my spare time...

Hobbits and the Such

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. And already, Frodo, our time is beginning to look black. The Enemy is fast becoming very strong. His plans are far from ripe, I think, but they are ripening. We shall be hard put to it."

- The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

Dear Mother

I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for your desire and vision to home school.
Thank you for having the tenacity to go through with it.

Thank you for your advice and wisdom.
Thank you for sharing it without ever being overbearing.

Thank you for your patience and stamina.
Thank you for getting up every day and taking on the challenges.

Thank you for your smile and laughter.
Thank you for being a wonderful friend.

Some people think that moms can be divided into two group: "Working" and "Staying-At Home."
But I know that really the true division is "Working Outside of the House" and "Working Inside of the Home."
And your decision to follow the Godly choice has had an impact on me that cannot be measured.

Because of you I want to stay home with my future children, to train them and teach them. I know it won't be easy, but you have blazed the trail for me.

And for that I thank you.

Love,
Your Daughter

Snips and Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

Little boys crack me up.

No, of course we can't just relax and watch baseball on TV tonight. We have to play some type of game while watching it.

One day they will become old and staid... maybe. :)

From One Soul to Another

Does it ever strike you how absolutely absurd we, humans collectively, are?

We have our own little worlds which are paramount.
We are important. We have titles and degrees and labels.
We have pomp and circumstances. We have wealth and knowledge.

We are It.
We are the Movers of the World.
We run the world.


But, no.


We are the clay. The clay. We are the created, not the Creator. We are only because of Him.

The striving is pointless.
The titles, degrees, and labels? Worthless.

We wear ourselves out - we spend our entire lives - attempting to throw off the position as the clay. We posture as people of import. We attempt to impress our own fellow pieces of clay.


How ignorant we are.
How poor we are.


"Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, You are the potter;
we are all the work of Your hand."
- Isaiah 64:7-9

Like Jo March

I got a haircut today. And there is something fabulous about that.

I have searched high and low for something to that compares to getting a new 'do. It isn't that a haircut is the supremest of all human events in the history of the world. Not nearly.

But it is simply a unique experience. It is quite in a class by itself. And splendidly so.

That is - though - if it is a good haircut. If it is a bad haircut, no, not a bad haircut... but, a wretched, cry-in-the-car-afterwards haircut, well, that also is in a class by itself. And thankfully so.

I Think We Have Met Before, Perhaps?

I have decided to come back to this blog for a couple of reasons... first and foremost - I miss it. :)

I actually have no honest answer for why I stopped blogging here. I guess, I decided that my photography blog was enough of a time-consumer for me. I know that that is about the lamest excuse ever. I don't even believe it myself. But since we are an excuse-giving society, I will let that be mine.

But now that I am back, I will have to start rattling around in my brain again in search of blog-able topics and happenings. I will have to re-accustom myself to the witty, direct, but oh-so-wandering ways of communication. I will have to tap into my inner-Mary Poppins, my inner-C.S. Lewis, my inner-Elizabeth Bennett.

But, it will be fun. And it is always nice to have a place to talk to oneself without having to talk out loud.

As my favorite hobbit, Samwise Gamgee puts it, "Well, I am back."