no posts?

I have no excuse.

It is rather inexcusable, 100% so.

I have postable things happen to me. On a severely regular basis, actually.

But often when I sit down to write them out, they are flat; they are like what the earth used to be before Columbus decided to throw us all for a loop, or for a globe.

I need to take time to unflatten them out, and I plan to do that soon. Like yesterday.

Because yesterday was 3/14. Pi Day.

an elderly post from February {unposted until now}

I babysat on Thursday night this week. I don't normally babysit on Thursday nights, but of late the norm has become the exception. So, therefore, it was nothing but normal for me to babysit on an abnormal day.

The natives were restless. Before I even had turned the car off, I had three charges standing outside of my door, brandishing sticks.

Good day to you too, kiddos.

I was promptly taken captive.

"Hands on your head!"
"Walk straight."
"You're our hostage!"
"Hey, hands on your head!"

"Well, stop poking me in the ribs first!"

"No, we poke until the hands are back on the head."

"Aaalright. Hands on the head."

We marched inside. Thankfully, there was a better choice of weapons awaiting us there.

Foam swords.

I like foam swords. A lot. Especially over sticks and staffs. Much better. Much less bruising.

But, of course, I was still the outcast.

They gave me a sword, and instructions to go wait out on the concrete slab of what will one-day-be-a-barn. They were going to then come attack me.

Right. Like I am going to stand for that. I have had one too many brothers and one too many cousins to think that I am just going to stand around and wait to be attacked.
Nope.
Sorry.
I just happen to be a big fan of the element of surprise.

I dashed out to the foundation and laid down on the grass on the other side, next to some old boards and {probably} hibernating snakes.

Yeah, so I have never had a dog before. And so I had forgotten that dogs are the Anti-Element of Surprise. Thanks, Rover.

After some various forms of foaming fencing, I was initiated into the Three Musketeers and we marched off to the Fort (which consisted of a mound of dirt) to throw clumps of mud at an invisible Adolph Hitler.

And then one of the Musketeers morphed into an Indian, and the remaining Musketeers became Cowboys. And chase was on, the hunt was afoot.

Through the mud.
{squelch, squerch, squelch, squerch}

Through the grass.
{swishy, swashy, swishy, swashy}

Back through the mud.
{oh, my flip-flop!}

Eventually, the Indian surrendered.

Sort of. She ended up claiming that before she surrendered, she had actually become a different Indian therefore the first Indian was still free. Yeaaaah. Dear, I used to try that trick when I was your age. And back then it sounded a lot more legit. And actually plausible.

After more chases, fencing duels, mud bombs, and weapon-swapping, we retired inside to eat the dinner of warriors - pancakes with a side of scrambled eggs.

brilliant

There are many conveniences that come with having the microwave right next to the refrigerator.

One of the more overlooked conveniences, though, is the ability to use the light from the refrigerator to see into the microwave.

{Especially if the light in the microwave is out, and the rest of the kitchen is dark because the sun isn't up yet, and you really, really, really need to heat up your coffee.}